Starving Artist.

This means the following things:

• After those weeks of class, I only have finals left.
• I only have two actual final exams. Everything else is a project.
• The hardest of these will be French, which is near the end of my exam schedule week.
• I will have to pack up my dorm room soon so that I can move back to Philly for the summer.
• All the fun plans I’ve made for this summer will commence in (or around) 20 days.

It also means that I have the following things to finish and turn in:

• Book promotion final paper, along with all other assignments from the course (revised), w/ final presentation
• Revisions of all previous French essays
• Reading 140 pages of a novel
• Writing an architecture fiction piece
• Revising poems/prose from the semester and putting together a final Creative Writing portfolio
• A review paper of a live essay reading
• Biographical paper about a famous graphic designer
• Completion of a full 20-page book design, complete with artwork from the whole semester, as a final portfolio
• 4-part investigative reporting editorial series

And that’s just classes… I’ll probably have an interview for the Welcome Week position somewhere in there, along with the final Hall Council program, making my election speech for National Honor Society, and finding a way to use all the points on my meal plan.

Whew.

As some of you may know (or have seen in a previous post), I’m walking in the Out of the Darkness Overnight in June, which benefits the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Now, with most charity events that I take part in, there’s a story behind why I’m participating in this. In 2004, someone close to me lost their life to suicide. It was my older brother’s girlfriend’s younger brother (and my brother has been dating her for around 12 years now, so she’s basically my sister). He was killed by an oncoming train, and he was only 19 years old.

None of us knew that we would lose Johnny on April 21st of that year. As with many deaths, the timing is never precise, and no matter if it is or isn’t, you can never be fully prepared for the impact of losing someone that is dear to you. As the anniversary of Johnny’s death approaches each year, those of us who were close to him obviously feel a sense of remorse. We try to celebrate his life around this time, though, because, although it was only for a short time, it was a beautiful life that was lived.

My post really regards this next little tidbit of information.

I have often believed in a higher power. Ever since I was little, I have been taken to church every Sunday, have been told to study the Bible, and for the longest while, I was really spoon-fed the information. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t believe it. I may not have completely understood it, but I always believed it.

For a while now, my mind has drifted and I have contemplated various things about religion and God and His love and power. It’s been a strange thought process, and I’ve been speaking about it with friends, and I don’t think I’ve found all the answers yet.

Tonight, my mind was blown with a notion of faith.

Around this time of year, many of Johnny’s family members ask him and God for help to get through; it is difficult to remember his death during any time of the year, but especially when the actual day is upon us. The anniversary is one week from today.

Johnny’s mom regularly visits his grave every Wednesday. Today, when she went, she fell asleep at his tombstone while praying and talking to him. On the way home, she got a call from Johnny’s older brother’s girlfriend, Deanna, who is 9 months pregnant. Deanna relayed the information that after her appointment tonight, the doctors plan to induce her next week.

The baby is set to be born on April 21st, the anniversary of Johnny’s death.

While we were all asking for a sign, God delivered. If this isn’t a huge sign and blessing, and a beautiful act of faith, I really don’t know what is.